September 20, 2019

September 20, 2019

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Fixing the NFL's Worst Uniforms

July 25, 2019

Look good play good? As training camp for a new season kicks off let's look at who are the best and worst dressed  teams on the field.

What's the least aesthetically pleasing but successful team? Before last season, Carolina Panthers..maybe?... It's hard. Because it seems if you get the other things right, you generally get this right too.

 

Rebranding often coincides with regime and culture change but most expectedly, it's hit or miss. Rams are expected to redesign their look for 2020 but it's likely a minor cosmetic change.

 

Browns will also follow suit in 2020 but also likely to stay inside their color rush look with just minor variations.

Jets dropped their new uniforms in April and were promptly flamed. We're holding out judgement, though, until they hit the field.

 

 

Thus, we ranked every teams uniform, then I created new concepts for some of the lowest ranked squads.

 

Kansas City Chiefs

Carolina Panthers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Cleveland Browns

Jacksonville Jaguars

Cincinnati Bengals

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CAROLINA PANTHERS

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

CINCINNATI BENGALS

 

 

 

 

 

CLEVELAND BROWNS

 

 

TD NFL Uniforms Rank

 

1. Vikings

Nike's 2014 redesign ought to be the high water mark for every other franchise looking to rebrand. They simplified and modernized, coming up with a clean, classic, fresh look.

 

2. Steelers

The black & yellow is just untouchable. It's a hard, classic look and their bumblebee throwbacks are the most "come fuck with us" in the league, bar none.

 

3. 49ers

Timeless look that never gets old.

 

4. Seahawks

Nike's 2012 redesign looked like a joke in promotions. Everyone thought, WTF is this? Then you actually saw them on the field and it was like....oh. They've been one of the best looks in the league since. It's no use trying to figure out why...it just works.

 

5. Packers

It's a simple but a great color combo and their collection of throwbacks are hands down the best in the league.

 

6. Colts

Colts are a top tier look to me. Boring perhaps, but also flawless.

 

7. Lions

Almost a perfectly nailed redesign. My only gripe is the lack of a pants stripe on that all grey look.

 

8. Broncos

Broncos 1997 redesign was like the Seahawk 2012 redesign. It was odd looking in promos but just clicked on the field. It's still going strong 20+ yrs later.

 

9. Cowboys

Always good but the Thanksgiving alternates defeat all.


10. Chargers

Another look that looks awful on a design page but really works on the field.

 

11. Raiders

Boring and great. A minor Vegas rebranding would be nice.

 

12. Rams

A great looking overall look that will needlessly be changed in 2020.

 

13. Patriots

There's nothing wrong with NE's current look but there's nothing great about it either. It's definitively middle of the road.

 

14. Dolphins

A Nike redesign done right.

 

15. Bears

Chicago has that solid classic look. But that navy blue has always looked like boring black and the white and burnt orange aren't used enough.

 

16. Redskins

Setting aside the the name and mascot faux argument, Washington's look has held up well despite little change. The color combo is near untouchable.

 

17. Saints

Saints have the 2nd most boring uniforms in the league but the black & gold is an untouchable color combo

 

18. Giants

Not much going on with NY's design but the blue home look is untouchable.

 

19. Ravens

The Ravens make purple work. I don't how they do it but it's a hard, solid look for the most part...though the black is doing all the lifting.

 

20. Texans

Texans are another middle of the road look. They're fine but don't really do anything for anyone. Best you can say is that it could be worse.

 

21. Eagles

Count me as one of those that preferred the previous look. It's never been special and this one is far from the worst but it just leaves you wanting a little bit better.

 

22. Bills

Apparently many think a lot more highly of the Bills look than I do. I think it's a nondescript middle road look that isn't the worst but far from the best.

 

23. Titans

The 2018 redesign more or less misses the mark. It's not the worst but I think they were clearly wanting better.

 

24. Falcons

Not awful but you can't help but look at the Falcons look and think...it should be better.

 

25. Chiefs

I figure this one gets the most pushback. Many feel like the Chiefs look is a sturdy classic. ...not I. It's one of the most boring in the league and doesn't even utilize it's yellow. That all red is just way too much ketchup.

 

26. Cardinals

The Cardinals look is tired now but they're far from the worst.

 

27. Jaguars

Jacksonville responded to the backlash of their daring 2013 uniforms by... choosing not to design their current ones. They're wearing stock black/white uniforms that look like someone just said "fuck it I give up."

 

28. Panthers

I don't know what the fuck's going on with the Panthers look. I feel like the players should be yelling "Boo-Yaa!" every time they make a play.

 

29. Bengals

Their look is a tragic mismatch, with all their colors forcefully incorporated in together.

 

30. Browns

The Browns 2015 - 2019 colorful dysfunction will be symbolic for one of the worst performing and worst run teams in the league in that span. The color rush was a bit of grace and will likely be the new permanent look moving forward. If they had only listened to me back back in 2014 this could have all been avoided..

 

31. Buccaneers

The biggest problem with this garish ass thing is that it was unnecessary. The Bucs previous look was fine. In that regard this current version is a sad parody.

 

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